Last summer on a yoga retreat on a silver island in Greece something shifted for me fundamentally in the way I looked at wellbeing and self-care. As we were sitting in the yoga shala with a view of the deep blue Aegean sea, the yoga teacher asked us – so why are you here?
Just as the wake of the boat had swirled behind us the day before as we drove from the mainland to the retreat island, my thoughts now swirled in my head as I asked myself – what IS the most important reason for me being at this yoga retreat?
Why was I here? I told myself: to slow down and ground myself before professional change. To learn more mindfulness practices and build habits to keep my shit together better for my husband and kids on a daily basis.
Why was I seeking only extrinsic justification and motivation for visiting a week/long yoga retreat? Was I expecting that after a week I would be a kickass superhuman? Was I escaping something? Why on earth do I feel nothing when I ask myself – why would I do this for myself? Was there something wrong with me?
Those closest to us both privately and professionally DO benefit immensely when we bring the best version of ourselves. This is undeniable. What I’ve learned as well is that I was conditioned through my upbringing and work experience that there is primarily virtue in a lot of achieving and hardwork, before we earn a sense of wellbeing, belonging and happiness. This is a conditioned perspective, not an absolute truth – and it can be unlearned.
On Day 3 came the major breakthrough. I wrote a letter to my son with my wishes for his life and that I would do the best to be a good mom to play a role in his happiness and wellbeing. That evening we ended our yoga session with the usual amazing gong bath that seemed to make the world stand still and mental chatter dissolve. As I laid in the sunshine all I felt was peace and gratitude, my heart beating, freedom. Apparently a lizard rested on my chest. Our yogi told us the previous day that an open heart attracts animals. It was that day I realized I am on a journey to become the best friend and mother I have always needed – just as I want for my friends and loved ones health and happiness, then success – I want this for myself too.
Since then the desire to experience more happiness and wellbeing more often remains. I will not settle for trading off impact and wellbeing – our time on this earth is too precious for that. There is a space in life where impact and wellbeing is integrated. It lives in the space of regular pause, then conscious choice in the flow of life for more balance. Working with my coach has helped me build this muscle to pause and build this with my clients as well.
Wellbeing is a practice of integration: healthy habits into routines at home and work, lessonzs of parenting into teamwork and leadership.
Wellbeing is a practice of conscious choice:
Letting go of thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that make us unwell in mind, body and soul and get in the way of our impact and happiness in the moment
Letting in people and activities that spark our intellect, warm our hearts and nourishes our bodies
What will you let go and let in for more wellbeing? This gives us fuel to be grateful and present with what is in the moment and wisdom to balance it with the positive footprint we wish to leave on this earth.
Balancing wellbeing and impact seems like a simple concept – the fact that our lives provide us new opportunities for change and challenge continuously makes it an artform. I recently experienced a mental wellbeing rut, getting stuck in a morass of trepidation. The lasting desire to let in happiness helped me slow down right away, get a guide and return to optimism about the transformative professional journey ahead of me.
As we left the island, 10 dolphins followed our ferry, jumping over the wake with sheer fun and play. They have learned to integrate and live with change, joyfully surfing its wave.
