What is your reaction when you read another post about mental health? Or participate in a discussion in your private or professional environment? 

For many of us, instantly a personal story arises – and maybe some hesitate to share our experience. Historically, society has definitely favored perfectionism and self-sufficiency – however the COVID pandemic, personal life experiences and socialization are all changing this. It has been my experience that the bravest act is to ask for help when we are experiencing mental and emotional struggle & out of the greatest challenges can come the greatest growth and learnings.

In my childhood, I encountered a significant amount of bullying, conflict in our household and various forms of unrest. Originally a playful, compassionate, creative, curious and courageous child – I became more and more anxious about social situations and ultimately was diagnosed with bulimia at the age of 16. It had been going on for years and was a gradual development, but ultimately I landed in residential treatment for a month in a facility in Wisconsin. It was humiliating, degrading and isolating at first. On September 11, 2001 I watched events in the US unfold whilst I was far away from my family – in the common room with the other patients. I had hit what a lot of people call “rock bottom” and had no more sense of self, let alone of my strengths or value.

In the  midst of volatility I experienced the most powerful cognitive behavior therapy in my life. I began to reorder how I made sense of the world and the people around me. I remember sitting in the common room one day under a blanket I crocheted myself, I started writing in a  journal and found the ability from deep within to reframe my darkest thoughts.

What did I learn?

Identify the pattern and let help in. The most powerful part of therapy is to help us see things we do not see – to identify unhelpful patterns and reframe them until we are able to do them ourselves.

Was this the end of the road? No. Mental patterns and illness that has developed over years is not magically healed in one month. It took me several more years of therapy and a battle cross-addictions until I became a functioning adult. This led to a successful move to a foreign country and successful career. It was only when living with a partner with untreated mental illness and after all efforts to love and support the problems away did I revisit a therapist. She was specialized in trauma and helped awake me from my paralysis to find a way forward and rebuild my life.

What did I gain from this experience?
A strong commitment to continuously develop myself and care for my mental well-being so it would never get that bleak again, no matter what life would throw at me. It really takes facing the hard stuff head on with skilled guidance – otherwise it will run our life.

A strong revelation that it does not need to get this bad again before I ask for help. After having my first child, at the first signs of postpartum anxiety and general struggle in balancing two full-time jobs I sought help. For the sense of well-being, to offer the best version of myself to my wonderful second husband, child, colleagues and friends.

I’ve gained immense inspiration to remove stigma around mental illness, support wellbeing in the workplace and coach leaders to manage their own shadows to gain more self confidence and create environments that support wellbeing for their teams.

What do you choose? What’s under your iceberg?